How to Talk to Teachers About Your Child's Needs
Building Partnership and Understanding
That conversation you've been putting off? The one where you share your concerns about your child with their teacher? It doesn't have to feel overwhelming. You're not asking for special treatment - you're building a partnership to help your child succeed.
You're Not Being "That Parent"
Advocating for your child isn't being difficult or demanding. Teachers want to help your child succeed, and they need your insights to do that effectively. You know your child better than anyone.
Remember: Teachers are partners, not adversaries. Most educators entered their profession because they genuinely care about helping children thrive. Your observations and concerns are valuable information that can help them support your child better.
Before the Meeting: Getting Prepared
Gather Your Observations
- Specific examples of behaviors or challenges you've noticed
- Patterns in timing (morning struggles, after-school meltdowns)
- What strategies work at home and which don't
- Your child's strengths and interests
Plan Your Approach
Start with partnership language: "I'd love to work together to help [child's name] succeed" rather than "There's a problem we need to fix."
What to Share and How to Share It
Share This
- Your child's behavior patterns at home
- Successful strategies you use at home
- Your child's fears, anxieties, or triggers
- Medical information if relevant
- Your child's special interests or motivators
Frame It This Way
Instead of: "My child is having behavior problems"
Try: "I've noticed some patterns that might help us support [child] better"
Instead of: "The homework is too hard"
Try: "I'm wondering if there's a different approach to homework that might work better"
Instead of: "You need to fix this"
Try: "What can we try together?"
Building Ongoing Partnership
Schedule Regular Check-ins
Don't wait for formal conferences. Ask for brief weekly or bi-weekly updates via email or a quick phone call.
Share Updates from Home
Let the teacher know when something works well at home or when you notice changes in your child's behavior or mood.
Be Open to Their Observations
Teachers see your child in a different environment and may notice things you haven't. Listen with curiosity, not defensiveness.
Document Everything
Keep records of conversations, strategies tried, and your child's progress. This helps everyone stay on the same page.
What to Capture with indi
Before and after teacher conversations, indi can help you track patterns and document what's working. You don't need to analyze everything - just capture what you notice.
Before Meetings
- • Your child's daily routines and challenges
- • What motivates and calms them
- • Specific incidents or patterns you've noticed
- • Questions you want to ask the teacher
After Meetings
- • Strategies the teacher suggested
- • How your child responds to new approaches
- • Changes you notice at home
- • Follow-up questions that arise
With indi: "Had a great conversation with Ms. Johnson today. She's going to try giving Emma a fidget toy during circle time, and we agreed to check in next week. Emma seemed excited about having a 'special helper job' in the classroom."
Remember: You're the Expert on Your Child
Your voice matters
You spend more time with your child than anyone else. Your observations about their personality, needs, and responses are invaluable data that can help create the best learning environment for them.
It's okay to ask for what you need
If you need more frequent communication, specific accommodations, or want to try a different approach, speak up. Teachers are professionals, but they're also human and may not think of everything.
Trust the process
Building a good relationship with your child's teacher takes time. Don't expect everything to be perfect immediately, but do expect effort and communication from both sides.